bad things, good people

ever since i was in grade 8 the question of "why do bad things happen to good people?" has resonated with me.

the easiest answer i ever received, the most understandable answer i ever got, was "because 6000 years ago two people ate a fruit that allowed them to judge good and evil, as a result the world, and the people in it, were broken, and separated from God"

yea, sweet. i get that. but what if there's more?


i was just lying down for a nap, and i got to thinking:

what if bad things happen to good people to make them better? what if 'good things' really aren't that good?

say i won a million dollars...wicked. i would probably become greedier, and more materialistic.

say my sister was killed by someone in hamilton, i would probably work towards creating a better hamilton, fueled by greater passion.

which one makes me a 'better person'?
a piece of scripture that's resonated with me lately is the part where jesus goes out to the desert. he spends forty days in the desert fasting, being tempted by satan. and after that, he leaves with greater stature and confidence. he leaves stronger, better in his faith.

my mom's had cancer since last march or so, and she's rapidly getting better. it's a crappy thing to go through, but she has so much more wisdom as a result. she is praying more, helping people more, learning that everything is a gift, and she loves jesus more than ever. her goal is to go back out and help anyone she can by sharing the story of what she went through. my mom got told she had at most 7 years to live in june, and now she's going to have a full recovery. life hurts, but it's making her better, it's refining her, the 'bad thing' that happened in her life, has made her a 'better person'.

jesus went in to the desert and endured great hardship, but in the process he was refined.
jesus endured more pain and suffering than anyone else, and yet, he was the only perfect person, the only pure person ever to live - granted, he was God in the flesh.

all of the disciples were persecuted, hung, crucified, hunted, put in jail, and they were better people for it.

what if bad things happen to make good people 'gooder'?
what if bad things happen to make us love more?

if i think about what has shaped me as a person, when i consider what has made me love harder, and brought me closer to God, i don't think of when i got my ps2 in grade 10, i think of the destructive relationship i used to have with my dad. i think about all the addictions i've fought, i think of all the times i cried, and realized that i should be screaming to God with all my heart the words "help me".

i think jesus is a lot more present in those times we cry out.

in fact, i think jesus takes those bad things, and redeems them.


what if we could learn from every bad thing that happens to us?
what if we could be a better person as a result?
what if we took every bad thing that's thrown at us, and said "jesus, take this, and make me better, take this, and make it yours, take me and make me more like you"?

i think we'd have a lot more truth.

in your weakness

may i be constantly aware of my state of brokenness that in my brokenness, in my weakness - the root of humility - your peace, and your strength might reign o'er me

wordsssss

something on my heart right now is words.

there's the word, jesus, the bible you know.
the bible is something close to my heart. it's encouraged me, helped me, guided me, restored me, healed me, taught me, shown me jesus, and oh SO much more. i've read it, prayed it, loved it, been annoyed by having to hear and read it again in sunday school... etc... and for a while... it was a burden to have to read it. but now i see it... wow, it's been there, on my bed, on a screen, and wherever i need it whenever i need it - whenever i need that restoration.

but here's the thing:

so often it hurts

it's been used for so much bad - to get more money, to persecute homosexuals, abortionists, black people, to start wars, to support conservative government

and i've always ignored that.
the world is so far gone that we see even God's word, being distorted, twisted and abused.

in luke 10 we see satan tempting jesus by quoting scripture saying "see God will protect you, jump off this cliff"
but jesus knew better, he knew the whole story.

but the point is, that yea we're human, and the bible was written by humans, but God is so intentional that what we've received is what he intended us to receive.

in the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God...the Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us...full of grace and truth

sweet.

the Word made flesh, crucified, resurrected, ascended, and incarnated through the accounts of four men, and one guy writing imprisoned and oppressed.

the thing is unless we realize the purpose of the bible - the word made flesh then word again - we don't have the Word, we have words, and those are fallible.


the problem was never the bible. i read a few days ago a quote by edwin muir

the fleshless word growing will bring us down

true

a light metaphor

something i have a hard time with is winter.

most of my family has something called sad, which basically means seasonal affective disorder. as the days get shorter, their bodies miss the sunlight, and it causes something like a temporary state of depression.

i've inherited that, and sometimes it sucks. though something that's easy to lose sight of is jesus, and the fact that he's not changing any time soon.

something that has great significance to me, as a result, is light.

when i think of spring coming, i get excited, because that means the days are getting longer, the light is winning.

when i think about darkness, i think about the source of sadness, the pain it can cause, and then i realize just how significant jesus calling himself the light is.

he's the source of all joy, and brings grace and peace in to the depths of darkness, and restores the light.

the sun rising each day is a testimony to jesus' triumph.


i dunno, just a few thoughts. i haven't blogged in a while.