Sunday, August 24, 2008

foot washing

during the last session of opc jesus challenged me in a new way.

He blessed me with a chalet of guys i am honoured to know. He gave me an immense overflow of energy daily, and daily revealed Himself in incredible ways, through conversation, and joy. He overwhelmed me completely when i asked for revival. He breathed a great life in to me...and i can't get over that grace.

in john 13 we read about jesus washing his disciples' feet.

as Jesus enters the room he removes His clothing, wrapping a towel around His waist. He moves around the room washing each of our feet, and drying them with the same towel that covers Him. eventually He comes to us. surprised we say "Lord, are you going to wash my feet?!"

we don't know how to receive that service. it feels embarassing. it feels almost awkward, or like we are dependent?

why would i let Him who created the world wash my feet? He is far better than me, He is Holy and Pure. Perfect, unlike me.

"You shall never wash my feet!" i shout. my pride holding me back.

maybe i don't want to rely on Him, maybe i don't want to receive, it's easier to give, easier to serve. maybe even, i don't like thinking about how i hurt Him. maybe i just can't reconcile.

"if I don't wash you, you have no part of me"

i always want to help people, and if you ask me why, i will say "because i love Jesus".
and if you ask why i love Him
i say "because He loved me first"

He showed me this by serving me, by extending grace.

if i don't let Him serve me, and wash my feet, how could i ever let him die for me?

asking forgiveness means receiving grace, and receiving grace means letting jesus break down our pride and wash our feet.

during my last session at opc, i was overwhelmed by the grace He extended to me. i already consider myself blessed, but He extended an extra measure of grace wherein i felt so served it humbled me. i couldn't believe what was before me, and didn't even think it was real sometimes.

the creator of the universe wants to serve us that we might be forgiven and join Him for all eternity.

are you ready for that?

Monday, August 11, 2008

an update

okay! so i'm at home on my day off, let me update you on my life:

i'm up at camp 12 more days, i'm very VERY tired, and could use a lot of prayer.

i miss my mom, but God's been doing some awesome things in the wake of her death. it's amazing how when we're in pain he "makes all things new". that's redemption.

because i'm tired my anxiety is really bothering me, please pray about that.

God is working incredible things up here at camp, and i love Him very much.

today my jesus made me think about how deep my mom's love for me was, and showed me how much i miss her. that was hard, but in that place he said "my grace is sufficient". that's pretty sweet, and then he said that his love is deeper. when i said "she prayed so much for me" he reminded me of that place in romans 8 where it says the spirit intercedes for us.

where my mom has ended, the spirit has come to fill all those holes.

i apologize for bouncing around so much, i'm super tired, and just drank some sleep tea.

oh! also, i'm moving downtown this year, and i have my job back at starbucks as of august 25th, so prepare to experience some legendary service!

i'm so glad jesus loves me, you have no idea until you've felt grace. i don't know how i can forget it.