i've heard it said a lot "you are loved"
i've heard "you ARE loved" "you are LOVED" "YOU are loved" "YOU are LOVED" and even "YOU ARE LOVED" by the more zealous types...
and it seems repetitive and sometimes even a bit boring, unless you know just how incredible those words are.
every human action is looking for love, somehow.
if i try to make someone laugh to encourage, i am acting out of jesus
if i try to make someone laugh to feel good, i am seeking attention, seeking love
i can spend an entire day in a farm doing manual labour, and be seeking love, if i try to please someone, to get good feelings.
if i feel jealous, and act out of jealousy, it's because i am unfulfilled, and i'm looking for love, even if it seems i'm looking for what my friend has.
as long as i'm looking for love, somehow, even if it's a nagging insecurity, i need to hear those words.
as long as i have worries about tomorrow, about who i'm going to see, if my friend will cancel on me, i don't get it.
as long as i'm trying to be someone i'm not, even in the most miniscule way, i NEED to hear the words "you ARE LOVED"
when i realized i am loved, joy abounds, worry fades, friendships prosper - because i'm no longer trying
and when i know i'm loved no action, emotion, worry, or thing can cause me to act outside of love
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Thursday, May 8, 2008
my home
all my life i have searched, and hunted, and tried to find a place called home, a place to be loved, and all my actions were spent seeking that place - that love.
my house is not my home, and neither is any building.
my friends have never showed me home, and neither does my heart offer any home.
i am an incomplete person - by myself.
when the pharisees asked jesus what the kingdom of heaven looked like he told the story of a young man who asks his father for his inheritance:
the young man goes to his father and asks for his inheritance, and so his father complies, and the young man leaves home and goes to the city and spends his inheritance on prostitutes and crazy parties. when his money runs out and he finds himself broke, and without food, he realizes the pigs he's feeding have a better life than him. he leaves his job, and decides to go back to his father and ask to be a slave. when his father sees him he runs out to meet him, and invites him back to the house for a great celebration.
when i was searching for a home, i was seeking love, and i found no love in others, or in any building.
i was looking for a father to embrace me and show me home. and when i was eight and accepted jesus, i caught an 8-year-old's glimpse of that home, and when i had some kind of spiritual experience on retreat throughout my youth i also caught brief glimpses of my home, but none of it stuck because i wasn't aware of what i was experiencing.
knowing God is going home.
the reason i never felt at home all around me, the reason i experienced such loneliness all throughout my teenage years was because i wasn't home. i wasn't where i belong because of one thing: heaven is my home, and i have been taken away from that place by a nasty thing called sin - the very thing that builds walls to keep me from my home.
and seeing this my jesus died to bring me home, and show me the kingdom of God can live in my heart.
my house is not my home, and neither is any building.
my friends have never showed me home, and neither does my heart offer any home.
i am an incomplete person - by myself.
when the pharisees asked jesus what the kingdom of heaven looked like he told the story of a young man who asks his father for his inheritance:
the young man goes to his father and asks for his inheritance, and so his father complies, and the young man leaves home and goes to the city and spends his inheritance on prostitutes and crazy parties. when his money runs out and he finds himself broke, and without food, he realizes the pigs he's feeding have a better life than him. he leaves his job, and decides to go back to his father and ask to be a slave. when his father sees him he runs out to meet him, and invites him back to the house for a great celebration.
when i was searching for a home, i was seeking love, and i found no love in others, or in any building.
i was looking for a father to embrace me and show me home. and when i was eight and accepted jesus, i caught an 8-year-old's glimpse of that home, and when i had some kind of spiritual experience on retreat throughout my youth i also caught brief glimpses of my home, but none of it stuck because i wasn't aware of what i was experiencing.
knowing God is going home.
the reason i never felt at home all around me, the reason i experienced such loneliness all throughout my teenage years was because i wasn't home. i wasn't where i belong because of one thing: heaven is my home, and i have been taken away from that place by a nasty thing called sin - the very thing that builds walls to keep me from my home.
and seeing this my jesus died to bring me home, and show me the kingdom of God can live in my heart.
my name is love
the most recent book i'm reading is the source of many of my ideas.
i am no longer mitchell, that happened a long time ago when i started following jesus.
when i started following jesus, his spirit started living in the new me - Him. as a result, i became Him, and He lived in me. and He is love, so i am Love.
that means that my true nature is love, and only love, no resentment. thinking about law, thinking about morality, and thinking about rules, and rigid religious traditions seems almost alien in the light of the name Love, because all those will be fulfilled by the incredible nature of love i find in my new self.
its not that they are no longer needed, but they should be fulfilled by the new life in me.
in the words of romeo "call me love and i will forsake my name and be new baptiz'd"
i am no longer mitchell, that happened a long time ago when i started following jesus.
when i started following jesus, his spirit started living in the new me - Him. as a result, i became Him, and He lived in me. and He is love, so i am Love.
that means that my true nature is love, and only love, no resentment. thinking about law, thinking about morality, and thinking about rules, and rigid religious traditions seems almost alien in the light of the name Love, because all those will be fulfilled by the incredible nature of love i find in my new self.
its not that they are no longer needed, but they should be fulfilled by the new life in me.
in the words of romeo "call me love and i will forsake my name and be new baptiz'd"
Sunday, May 4, 2008
lover of light
so lately i've been realizing something. mainly through a book i'm reading by thomas merton.
through this book, and through another book by a woman named doreen irvine, i've come to realize that most of humanity has a preoccupation with darkness, and all things negative. if i'm talking with someone, i've realized, i'm generally more interested in what's wrong, and what's frustrating than with what's good with their life. if i talk with someone more than likely, we talk about problems with the world, problems with our lives, sin, struggles, not what we're good at, and what God's blessed us with.
"those who live by the spirit have their minds set on what the spirit desires"
that's a quote from romans 8, one of my favourite chapters of the bible. what does the spirit desire? purity? love? grace, peace, light, joy? how often do we say "wow, God has blessed me with _____, ______, and ____"? not often do we have whole conversations about what our gifts are, and what God has given us. although, i think that would be more in line with what God asks of us.
"whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things"
when i started aspiring to be a lover of the light, i realized how interested i was in the bad, the shortcomings, the sins of others and of myself. but i've realized to look at the light isn't naiive, it's a virtue of God.
he has decided to look at the good in us, the praiseworthy things, and yet i still look at the darkness and sin.
i want to love light. and that is my prayer, that i might call myself a lover of the light, and set my mind on such things.
through this book, and through another book by a woman named doreen irvine, i've come to realize that most of humanity has a preoccupation with darkness, and all things negative. if i'm talking with someone, i've realized, i'm generally more interested in what's wrong, and what's frustrating than with what's good with their life. if i talk with someone more than likely, we talk about problems with the world, problems with our lives, sin, struggles, not what we're good at, and what God's blessed us with.
"those who live by the spirit have their minds set on what the spirit desires"
that's a quote from romans 8, one of my favourite chapters of the bible. what does the spirit desire? purity? love? grace, peace, light, joy? how often do we say "wow, God has blessed me with _____, ______, and ____"? not often do we have whole conversations about what our gifts are, and what God has given us. although, i think that would be more in line with what God asks of us.
"whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things"
when i started aspiring to be a lover of the light, i realized how interested i was in the bad, the shortcomings, the sins of others and of myself. but i've realized to look at the light isn't naiive, it's a virtue of God.
he has decided to look at the good in us, the praiseworthy things, and yet i still look at the darkness and sin.
i want to love light. and that is my prayer, that i might call myself a lover of the light, and set my mind on such things.
Friday, May 2, 2008
angry people
lately, i just haven't had the urge to blog, not that i haven't had much to say, just i haven't had much to offer.
that hasn't been good, but i've learned a lot.
something that's been bothering me lately is this: angry jesus lovers
not raging furies, or throwing objects, just people that seem frustrated, and don't know what to do with themselves. i hear them talk about ministries they don't like (guilty), people that don't seem to be following jesus the way they are (guilty at some point - and on another note: who knows how to follow jesus properly? not me), injustice (and not in a "i have something to offer" way).
on another note: i used to be a really angry person, jesus helped me through that, showed me peace, and showed me life, the only thing that really angers me is other peoples anger. it's something i have to work on.
it all seems wierd.
when people get all uptight, frustrated, and angry about injustice, and react with anger it doesn't seem to be the right response.
to get angry about a lack of peace to bring about more peace seems kind of dumb.
on the side of a starbucks cup is written "anger is contagious"
with that being said, will an angry reaction to calm a situation really do anything?
will angry words about injustice cause it to stop?
my interpretation of the bible was that jesus came to bring grace, peace, love and hope to the world, and then, in the ultimate act of love, he shed his blood. this was the redemption of all things.
his solution was not an angry one, was not a frustrated reaction, or outburst of words about what is wrong, but rather a laying down of his life to show love, and bring grace, peace, and hope to the world.
the solution to injustice will never be talking angrily about how wrong things are, it will never be getting angry.
it will be the kind of dedication to justice wherein we find ourselves so in tune with jesus that we are willing to lay down our lives for those in darkness - out of love.
that is shining. be at peace.
that hasn't been good, but i've learned a lot.
something that's been bothering me lately is this: angry jesus lovers
not raging furies, or throwing objects, just people that seem frustrated, and don't know what to do with themselves. i hear them talk about ministries they don't like (guilty), people that don't seem to be following jesus the way they are (guilty at some point - and on another note: who knows how to follow jesus properly? not me), injustice (and not in a "i have something to offer" way).
on another note: i used to be a really angry person, jesus helped me through that, showed me peace, and showed me life, the only thing that really angers me is other peoples anger. it's something i have to work on.
it all seems wierd.
when people get all uptight, frustrated, and angry about injustice, and react with anger it doesn't seem to be the right response.
to get angry about a lack of peace to bring about more peace seems kind of dumb.
on the side of a starbucks cup is written "anger is contagious"
with that being said, will an angry reaction to calm a situation really do anything?
will angry words about injustice cause it to stop?
my interpretation of the bible was that jesus came to bring grace, peace, love and hope to the world, and then, in the ultimate act of love, he shed his blood. this was the redemption of all things.
his solution was not an angry one, was not a frustrated reaction, or outburst of words about what is wrong, but rather a laying down of his life to show love, and bring grace, peace, and hope to the world.
the solution to injustice will never be talking angrily about how wrong things are, it will never be getting angry.
it will be the kind of dedication to justice wherein we find ourselves so in tune with jesus that we are willing to lay down our lives for those in darkness - out of love.
that is shining. be at peace.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
it's been a while
it's been a while since my last blog, and i feel like writing.
thats a lie, i really could care less about writing. it's wierd.
my blackberry broke today, i miss her, i'm stressed out, because i now have no idea where i should be.
but it's really funny to me.
thats a lie, i really could care less about writing. it's wierd.
my blackberry broke today, i miss her, i'm stressed out, because i now have no idea where i should be.
but it's really funny to me.
Sunday, April 6, 2008
the father
on my darkest day you set me ablaze
found me in the desert curl'd 'neath a stone
held a shield
picked me up
carried me home
gave me water
lit me up
sent me out
all in a moment
you heard the bleating of my heart
quite the friend you are
found me in the desert curl'd 'neath a stone
held a shield
picked me up
carried me home
gave me water
lit me up
sent me out
all in a moment
you heard the bleating of my heart
quite the friend you are
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